THE GOBWOOD
Goblin, Fantasy, and RPG Blog
I’m going to be trying accordion elements to reduce the need for scrolling and let you expand each topic separately. Most of the pages have been pretty lengthy and difficult to navigate; not that I mind, of course… I don’t intend for or desire an audience which lacks the discipline necessary to actually explore information but, on the other hand, I think I can do better.
The last two characters I posted were a bit of a stretch with custom traits and a little of ye olde hande waive to ignore some nuance… and I know a lot of folks don’t appreciate that preferring the reliability and solidarity of the trusty classic PHB rules, so this character is made with those folks in mind. JKGTFO we’re going to completely home-brew a backwards bard! May I introduce: Pokugnius Borksniffer, the goblin comic.
Character
Pokugnius Borksniffer, a.k.a. “PeeBee” studied at “Teh Gobelin Bordick Kollege” where the booze flows, the rhymes are false, and the shorties are ho’s. Its really just a janky treehouse where the gobbos sometimes party but when it starts bumpin… bruh the leaves fall OFF! He travels now to hone his improv and comedy skills so that, one day, he can be krowned King of the Kollege. The krown itself is secretly a powerful magical item which only he, and one other, suspect. He needs to win it before his nemesis so that it can’t be used wrongly- like maybe to rally all of goblinkind under a single banner and conquer the world in a green tide or something. The crown was meant to be a party item, and that’s the way it ought to stay, so Pokugnius is just gonna win it to sin with it; the King gets all the ho’s. He must develop his skills before the next Kollege Rukkus else the Krown will fall into the hands of one who both knows how to use it, and intends great villainy with it.
As for just what his skills are- he’s certainly no normal bard. He is trained not in song or strings but in jokes and insults. He will call you names! And it will hurt! Literally and figuratively! His words carry the supernatural power to drain morale and wound emotions cutting deeper than a sword could ever hope to. His performances are rife with vulgarity, absurdity, profanity, racism, and flatulence though his delivery keeps it fresh and he knows how to avoid tiring out the tropes. He’ll get a laugh out of you even if it’s the last thing you do.
Build
Bard is typically a buff machine, but we goin backwards so
we’re gonna be a debuff machine. Kinda like the last character I posted but
this time we’re gonna debuff lots of people a fair bit instead of just 1 person
a lot. We can be the face, but we shouldn’t… actually no… we should, huehuehue!
1- Debuffs like our dirge of doom, mocking
performances, and spells like Crushing Despair.
2- Crowd Control through fear stacking, spells, and
performances.
3- Intrigue resolution through improper application
of social skills, suggestion performance, and spells like Aura of the
Unremarkable.
4- Comic Relief through doing ridiculous things and
constantly making fun of the DM’s NPC’s, even if we have to write down solid
burns before-hand. We don’t buff allied PC’s but we do raise player morale.
The archetype is homebrewed so see the section on that below. It’s big so check that out first.
Rude Songs is a goblin-only trait that normally gives a +2 to perform: sing but we’re not a singer, we’re a jester, of sorts, and we’re going to use perform: comedy. I figure its fine to make it give a +2 to perform: comedy instead.
Desperate focus is always good for casters who don’t plan to take combat casting. It’s a +2 to casting defensively and, between our gtfo’s and lower defensive casting DC’s in general, it should be plenty.
Perform: Comedy- Max it. This is our thing. We make jokes, better make em good. Also, versatile performance lets us do this in place of the 2 social skills we plan to actually use.
Bluff: tall tales are great fun and its hilarious when an NPC believes some BS you just made up. We should opt to use this instead of diplomacy- fabricate a situation that the NPC would be most likely to respond positively to and then chuckle about how gullible they are. It will get us into trouble, but that’s even better. Put your first point in here so you can do it at lv1 effectively but you won’t have to max this because our versatile performance will allow us to use perform: comedy instead of this skill.
Intimidate: Same as bluff, sort of, in that you won’t have to put more than 1 point thanks to versatile performance. Thematically we should prefer using this over diplomacy checks. Intimidate can be used to temporarily improve someone’s attitude toward you at the cost of them disliking you more after; that’s exactly what we want. It is worth noting that intimidate checks typically take a -4 penalty if you are smaller than your target but the perform: comedy skill does not; lucky us!
Sleight of Hand: Required for pranks. Paired with Prestidigitation or Mage Hand we should be able to pull off some nice tricks with folks none the wiser.
Disable Device: Picking Locks and Disarming Traps are the most popular uses of this skill but you can also sabotage! We should make the effort to sabotage things just for kicks- like a wagon wheel, a fence gate, the reins of that horse, or the noble’s suspenders. (hope we didn’t need those later.)
Disguise: do not take this. We’re a proud representative of teh gobelin bordik kollege and we need to ensure we make a name for ourselves and our alma mater! Disguises might be useful at times but anonymity is for simps; we troll from the main acct! If we ever do make a disguise it needs to be a comedic fail.
STR- completely dumpable. We don’t intend to do any melee ever. Grab an xbow and some scrolls of Hideous Laughter to keep us in the action through the low levels.
DEX- can probably leave at 10 due to our +4 racial bonus here but more is always better.
CON- what adventurer would want less than 14? One that has to pump CHA against a racial penalty that’s who… oof. 12 is acceptable in low point buy.
INT- Pick how many skills you want to keep maxed and make sure you have enough INT for that. We may not be great at the knowledge skills because of it but that’s ok, our theme would have us making up interesting tall tales rather than trully recalling lore anyway.
WIS- I’m going to dump it just a little but will saves are scary so its never a bad idea to keep this decent.
CHA- pump it to 18. Even in low point buy.. you need it. Between the goblin -2 penalty here and lower level spells as we go all around we have to make it as high as possible and every ability score increase must go here.
Lv1 Countersong: unchanged
Lv1 Distraction: unchanged
Lv1 Fascinate: Unchanged, but it is revulsion which has captured their rapt interest. The people love to hate you, like a goblin kardashian!
Lv1 Lesser Dirge of Doom: All foes who can see and hear the goblin’s awful performance take a -1 morale penalty to attack rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks. This is a fear effect but the target is not shaken. “Brave, Brave Sir Robin…” This replaces Inspire Courage.
Lv3 Mock Incompetence: One creature who can hear and understand the goblin’s language takes a -2 competence penalty to a particular skill and to all concentration checks as the goblin heaps poignant distracting slander upon them. If the mocked creature is participating in a group effort the penalty is applied to the final result of the groups check rather than the targets individual check. This penalty increases by -1 for every four levels the bard as attained beyond third.
Lv5 Dirge of Doom: Unchanged, Your lesser Dirge of Doom becomes Dirge of Doom. This replaces the increase to Inspire Courage. Foes must see and hear the bard.
Lv5 Transition Master: The bard is able to seamlessly, and without interruption, transition from one performance into another without losing the audience or targets full attention. Any time the bard stops performing his Dirge of Doom (or lesser) and immediately begins a new performance, any penalties from the Dirge apply to any saves required by the new performance. Additionally, any time the bard stops a Mocking Incompetence or Impotence and immediately begins another he may choose to forego the new effect and simply continue any current effects. E.g. the bard stops mocking incompetence and begins a dirge of doom- he may choose to keep affecting his target with incompetence while affecting the rest with dirge. If mocking Impotence he can only continue to affect targets with impotence who failed their saves.
Normally when you end one performance to start another, the effects of the first end- even with lingering song. We, however, love c-c-combos so we’re going to drop Lore master and every Versatile Performance after the 1st in order to set up combos! The combo basically uses Dirge to setup for Mock, and then keeps the Mock active as you cycle again.
Lv6 Suggestion: unchanged- yet we’re going to add some flavor still: its reversed so you can only use this ability to convince a creature NOT to do something, which means you’ll have to use double negatives to get people to do things.
Lv8 Bizarre Dirge: The bard is skilled at appalling the senses of anything; no matter how courageous, alien, or inert. Enemies within range and able to see and hear the bard’s Dirge of Doom always suffer the negative penalties, even if immune to fear or mindless, though they are not shaken. Additionally, the bard may choose to make a special performance targeting one other sense instead of sight and hearing. The bard may select one sense to affect with his performance and creatures able to sense this performance are affected by his dirge as above. The bard may, for example, target the Tremorsense ability by tantrically stomping on the ground or the Scent ability by flatulating. This replaces an increase to Inspire Courage.
Lv9 Mock Inferiority: The bard may make a special performance heaping insults and mockery upon a foe. One target, able to see and hear the bard’s litany of derision, experiences a tangible loss of fighting capability as if the words became truth. The target must make a will save or suffer 2 temporary negative levels, to a minimum of 1 remaining HD. For every three levels a bard attains beyond 9th, he can target one additional foe while using this performance. (Quick rule for negative levels is -1 to all rolls, -1 to combat maneuver defense, -1 to level-dependent variables, and -5 HP per negative level.) Once affected by this performance This replaces Inspire Greatness. Foes must see and hear the bard.
Lv10 Steal The Show: The bard’s experience at the Kollege has made him, seemingly supernaturally, competitive and he is able to exceed others efforts just in time to prove himself better. After an ally or a target suffering from the bard’s mock incompetence has rolled a skill or ability check, but before the results have been revealed, the bard can interrupt the other’s action with his own check using the same result with a +4 bonus. If used in this way, the other’s action is not performed and the bard completes the check instead. The bard must be reasonably able to complete the action with this ability or it fails; e.g. the bard cannot Steal The Show to climb a rope that he is unaware of in another room but may be able to if he is within 1 move action’s distance and can see his ally attempting the check. Furthermore, the bard cannot use this ability to perform skills that cannot be used without training in which he is untrained. Using this ability is an immediate action and it can be used once per day. At 16th level it can be used a 2nd time per day and at 19th level a 3rd time each day. This replaces Jack of All Trades.
Lv11 Damning Dirge: The bard’s dirge is uniquely and effectively tailored to each of his foes harming their resolve against his abilities. Foes suffering from his dirge take an additional -1 penalty to saves vs spells cast and performances made by the bard. This penalty increases to -2 at 17th level and stacks with the -2 penalty from his Dirge. This replaces the increases to Inspire Courage at those levels.
Lv12 Ravaging Performance: As a standard action, the bard may make a special performance to curse foes already suffering from his dirge of doom with tangible wounds. A foe must have been affected by the bard’s dirge of doom for at least 4 consecutive rounds before the curse can harm them and 4 further rounds before being ravaged again. When the curse is spoken each affected target is struck as if by a inflict serious wounds, mass spell allowing a will save to halve the damage. This replaces Soothing Performance. Foes must see and hear the bard when this performance is used though not necessarily for the previous 4 rounds.
Lv14 Frightening Tune: unchanged. Foes need only hear the bard.
Lv15 Mock Impotence: The bard’s pointed jeering can cause tremendous feelings of doubt and hesitation in a foe that he singles out. The affected creature is flat footed (no dex to ac, cannot take immediate actions such as AOO’s) and suffers a 50% chance to take no actions on its turn for as long as the bard continues his performance. For every three levels the bard attains beyond 15 he may mock one additional foe with this performance. A successful will save negates all effects. This replaces Inspire Heroics. Foes must see and hear the bard.
Lv18 Mass Suggestion: Unchanged, same as above- none of yall never don’t not do the thing!
Lv20 Deadly Performance: Mostly unchanged except that the creatures do not die of joy or sorrow, but rather from shame or disgust as raunch unholy slander erodes their very soul. Additionally, even if they make their save, they are also nauseated for the first of their 1d4 staggered rounds. Why buff it? Because you made it to level 20 as a goblin bard- you deserve it. Foes must see and hear the bard.
Feats, Choices, and Features
1- Spell Focus: Enchantment, Lesser Dirge of Doom, Countersong, Distraction, Fascinate, Bardic Knowledge, Lv1 Spells
2- Versatile Performance: Comedy, Well Versed
3- Improved Dirge of Doom, Mock Incompetence
4- Lv2 Spells
5- Greater Dirge of Doom, Dirge of Doom, Transition Master
6- Suggestion
7- Great Spell Focus: Enchantment, Incompetence -3, Lv3 Spells
8- Bizarre Dirge
9- Amateur Swashbuckler: Dodging Panache, Mock Inferiority
10- Steal the Show, Lv4 Spells
11- Extra Panache, Incompetence -4, Damning Dirge -1
12- Ravaging Performance
13- Spell Penetration, Lv5 Spells
14- Frightening Tune
15- Greater Spell Penetration, Incompetence -5, Mock Impotence
16- Lv6 Spells
17- Feat, Damning Dirge -2
18- Mass Suggestion
19- Feat, Incompetence -6
20- Deadly Performance
Exposition
Spell Focus: Enchantment is just a feat that helps us actually stick our enchantment spells.
Lesser Dirge of Doom is our alternative to Inspire Courage. It’s like half-shaken, but doesn’t count for fear stacking. It does otherwise qualify as dirge of doom for anything that modifies dirge of doom aside from fear stacking. The whole dirge thing will go a long way to helping us
Countersong and Distraction are the typical bardic abilities which can sub your perform: comedy check for an ally’s save vs a sound or sight based effect, respectively.
Fascinate is basically the hypnotism spell but you don’t get to make a request of the subject(s). Keep their attention on you while somebody does something else.
Bardic Knowledge add half your level to knowledge checks. I don’t plan to focus on that, but we’ll make the knowledge checks and embellish what we don’t know with a better funny story.
1st Lvl Spells- There are a lot of fun 1st level spells for bard, especially in social situations, but we also need to be sure we’re contributing in combat so we’re going to check that box first. Hideous Laughter is a first pick which can send something running and remove it from combat for a while because your jokes are scary good. Touch of Gracelessness is risky requiring a touch attack but it targets fort saves and can really bring casters or dex users down a notch, it also causes them to fall prone if they move more than half their speed so we can laugh at them (keep that part secret if your DM doesn’t already know the spell, otherwise he’ll just cheese it and never move more than ½ speed). Better still, even a successful save only halves the dex penalty even though it negates the falling prone. At later levels it will be fun to pick up Fools Gold for roleplay; tip an NPC with a fools gold coin and then your spells are even more likely to work on them (-2 to saves), reverse pickpocket to plant a fools gold on them, or just randomly give someone 1g cuz who wouldn’t take it? Pair with Beguiling Gift and Demand Offering (which I’m merging because they’re just the same spell in reverse) and it should be very fun.
Versatile Performance, as mentioned in the skills section, lets use substitute perform: comedy checks for Bluff and Intimidate. This is not only convenient but also thematic as the best jokes are good lies and the best insults set you higher in the pecking order. Again, note that being small normally gives us a -4 to intimidate but perform: comedy does not suffer that penalty.
Well Versed is just a +4 to saves vs stuff like bard abilities. If the effect says sonic, bardic performance, or language-dependent (which is the big one I think) you probably save.
Improved Dirge of Doom is a feat that extends the range of dirge to 60ft and allows dirge to increment shaken up to frightened once per target per day. At this point we don’t have actual dirge so we can’t fearstack but the range increase will affect our lesser dirge making our job much easier or at least less dangerous.
Mock Incompetence is our skill debuff- clearly more useful in social situations but, could also be used to ruin a foe’s attempt to climb up after you or repair a mechanism you just sabotaged with disable device. It is only -2 right now but it will eventually get very significant making opposed checks very easy or at least making any non-specialized creature unlikely to succeed even at normal checks.
2nd level spells brings us a few more flavorful
ones for embracing the frat boy within. Rotgut is empirically not important;
its never going to influence a combat in your favor and its unlikely to help
very much even in niche social situations but… its 4 gallons of rum from 4
gallons of water! We aren’t gonna 1up
jesus or anything but its an instantaneous effect which means the rum is rum
forever and we can sell it. To pair with this I also recommend Drunkard’s
Breath which is a 30ft cone-shaped stinking cloud that does not obscure vision;
another great fort save option and the penalties from sickened/nauseated do
stack with any fear penalties we might apply. Blistering Invective is a 30ft
radius demoralize (don’t forget to use perform: comedy instead of intimidate),
if you get em with a good burn they are shaken and literally catch fire!
Furthermore, the fire targets reflex saves, likely resulting in foes wasting an
action to extinguish themselves, and the shaken effect can be used for fear
stacking at lv5. Babble inflicts the nauseated condition through a will save
and can affect secondary nearby targets with fascinate whilst the primary
target causes a scene.
Dirge of Doom is the same as the usual bard ability, but we
get it a few levels sooner. Applying shaken to all foes with no save is great,
modified by the improved dirge feat from level 3 its range is 60ft and it can
be used to fearstack.
Greater Dirge of Doom is a feat that gives our dirge the
effect of lingering performance- the effect lasts for 2 rounds after leaving
the area or not being able to see/hear the bard. Furthermore, while the
improved dirge feat allowed fear stacking from shaken up to frightened this
allows fear stacking from frightened to panicked. Dirge can only be used to
fear stack once per target per day.
Transition Master is our c-c-combo feature. Penalties from
dirge will affect saves against other performances and you can choose to keep a
performance’s effects rolling on affected targets even if you switch to using a
different performance.
Suggestion is the bardic performance that works like the Suggestion spell. Fun, good for tricks, but not a focus of the build.
Greater Spell Focus: Enchantment just helps our enchantment spells stick. Most of our more potent spells are enchantment (or will be anyway) and by now the most dangerous things probably all have decent will saves. This, in combo with dirge, will help us have a reasonable chance to actually affect our targets.
3rd level spells bring us some more fun and thematic choices. Crushing despair is appropriate and adds yet another -2 on top of shaken. Slow would be appropriate as well but would only stack with nauseated in the unchained 3 action system- under normal rules slow and nauseated are kinda redundant. Aura of the Unremarkable is probably the best social spell allowing you to get away with just about anything in plain sight. Mad monkeys is a conjuration spell that deals some unavoidable damage, applies distraction, and performs a steal maneuver each round, and is monkeys. Fear, the spell, could be really effective as it causes shaken for 1 round even if it fails allowing you to increment that up to frightened with improved dirge but once the 1 round of effect from the fear spell wears off it will go back down to shaken. Its great if you really need to gain control of the situation in round 1 but it is kinda double dippy and is thematically more like spooky macabre fear than the embarrassing social anxiety fear we’re flavored for.
Bizarre Dirge is our shoe-in to keep being useful against targets that would otherwise be immune to our most useful ability. It won’t support fear stacking on such targets, but at least they still take the penalty.
Amateur Swashbuckler is a feat that gives us 1 point of panache and access to a single deed. The deed we’re going to choose is Dodging Panache which allows us to spend 1 panache point to take a 5ft step as an immediate action in response to an attack. We also gain our CHA as a dodge bonus to AC but otherwise the triggering attack resolves as normal, and then they would have to move to attack again. Under the normal rules this means the full attack is over because they can’t reach us anymore. I doubt the CHA bonus to AC will really help but at least we’re only taking that 1 hit because full attacks could be deadly at this point. Under the unchained action economy rules, which I now use, there is no full attack; you just get three actions with iterative penalties for each attack. In this rule system I think this deed should allow you to move your speed as an immediate action, and gain the CHA bonus against any further attacks from the triggering foe this round. This will allow you to either escape behind allies making the next attack impossible, or at least give that CHA bonus to AC a chance to matter vs another attack after the foe uses his 2nd action to move up and his 3rd to attack. By now most other casters have some big defensive abilities to go on and, until this feat, we really didn’t.
Mock Inferiority is our version of inspire greatness in that it imposes negative levels. The great part, however, is that they are regular temporary negative levels following the normal rules of getting a save daily to eliminate them rather than only lasting until the performance ends. Whatever you affect with this can be affected by dirge too for a total of -4 to a lot of things once you start dirge back up next round. Also, thanks to transition master, the penalty from dirge (if you had it rolling) applies to the save required by this.
Steal the show is an ability which may be difficult to arbitrate but, I feel, is very thematic. It would be nice to have it earlier for establishing the character’s identity and flavor but its kinda powerful and there isn’t anything else I’d like to swap out at a lower level. It can be used either supportively ensuring an ally’s success, even though you totally stole their thunder, or competitively ensuring that you outperform the target of your skill penalty performance when in contest.
4th level spells don’t offer anything truly thematic for us. We’ve needed a good defensive so we can pick up Shocking Image which is just mirror images plus some electric damage. You can have a chuckle at the fool who hit the wrong image and got zapped I guess. Greater Invis could be good for not even getting targeted and Dimension Door is good for gtfo needs. Amnesia can remove all class features, making casters and hybrids useless, but targets will saves which are often strong for classes that depend on heavily on their features over their hit dice and base attack. Virtuoso Performance could let you save some action economy by not giving up your dirge for a turn when you use other performances but… we don’t have that much use for it yet. Ultimately go ham and have fun here; maybe grab some lower level spells that you wanted but missed out on.
Extra Panache is a feat that gives us 2 more panache points to spend on our dodging panache deed. Now we can scooch out of a full attack 3x per day with an AC bonus to boot. Picture that moment where we’re going “nanner nanner boo boo” and when the beefy boi finally gets to crush us, we just looney toons outta there.
Damning Dirge is just a boost to help us actually affect targets with our spells and performances. On top of shaken, they take another -1 to saves vs us.
Ravaging Performance is some decent AOE damage that you can weave into your performance- as long as you’ve stuck it on something for 4 rounds straight you can hit em with 3d8+lv negative energy damage. It’s unlikely to turn the tide as many say most combats are decided by then but it could help save some resources by ending it quicker.
Spell Penetration is pretty generic but we’ve invested a lot in ensuring our spells affect foes so we might as well further invest toward the same goal and, by now, spell resistance is likely to be an issue.
Lv5 Spells offer some pretty powerful choices but nothing too amazing. Last tier was lackluster for a scarcity of thematic spells while this tier is rich in theme and yet difficult to make a decision over which spells are more useful. Among the best of the bunch is Stunning Finale which can stun up to 3 targets but for only 1 round. The sweet part is that, even if they save, they are staggered for 1 round instead. Resonating Word targets fort saves, deals damage, and worsens each turn for 3 turns potentially culminating in a 1d4+1 round stun. Total damage is up to 20d6 over those 3 rounds. The word spoken for the verbal component of this spell should probably be something deeply offensive, something you wouldn’t say outside of this character at the table. Cacaphonous Call can cause nauseated on any targets you want within 30ft. It targets Will which is an uncommon vector for nauseated but it would be great to stack with the -2 from shaken.
Frightening Tune is another unchanged performance which can only synergize well with Dirge of Doom if we cast Virtuoso Performance or ShadowBard to keep them both up at once. This would be very costly in terms of performance rounds per day but the Shaken from Dirge plus the Frightened from Tune will stack to become Panicked meaning foes will drop their weapons before they flee. The monsters will probably have 5 claws and two bites as backup weapons, knowing our luck but, in theory, the orc barbarians should be a lot less threatening without their greataxes.
Greater spell penetration is a pretty token feat to help us be more likely to affect our targets with the only thing we can really do- spells. Nothing exciting or interesting, just better odds to be spell resistance.
Mock impotence is our last mocking performance which will dramatically cripple, but not completely incapacitate, the target. Between being flat-footed and the 50% chance to not act, that’s pretty solid. Furthermore, with this in our kit we now have different performances to cycle through. If any one doesn’t stick, just Dirge and try another.
From here on our just pick whatever. Rarely do games go this high and, if they do, no generic insight should be useful. I will note that Mass Suggestion is an ability that will definitely accomplish the characters goals- you can just use that to make everyone vote you in as the King of the Kollege. It can be kind of interesting when a class feature can be a synonymous with accomplishing a major character goal. Lastly, Deadly performance would probably feel great to use- call someone a name so insulting that they instantly die.
Beguiling Gift / Demand Offering + Fool’s Gold + Suggestion. Give somebody a fool’s gold, now they take -2 to saves. Cast Demand Offering and now they’re probably going to give you what you demanded. Do this to a merchant in public and what is he going to say; “I didn’t mean to hand you the object for the money you paid… I don’t know why I did that!”? You can do the same with the suggestion performance; slap a fools gold in their palm and now they’re more likely to fall for your suggestion.
Dirge + Damning Dirge + Transition + any other performance. Damning Dirge is a no-save penalty to will saves vs your spells up to -4 at high levels. Transition master lets you apply that penalty to your other performances before it goes away. In this way you can Dirge > Mock Inferiority > Dirge > Mock Impotence > Dirge while keeping impotence > Ravaging performance > Dirge while keep impotence > Frightening Tune … whatever order makes the most sense. Furthermore, once you can start a performance as a move action, you can go back to dirge in the same round though each performance you begin in a round will still cost you (I think.)
Dirge + Frightening Tune + Hideous Laughter + Blistering Invective + Improved Dirge of Doom + Greater Dirge of Doom. This long list of things comes together for a very simple purpose- fear stacking. The wording is a bit awkward to me but the basics are that dirge can now be used for fear stacking- Improved goes up to frightened and Greater goes up to panicked. Hideous Laughter causes frightened but is less useful by the time you get greater dirge so it is less likely to become panicked. Blistering Invective causes shaken and should easily increment to frightened. Frightening Tune causes frightened but is a performance so unless you take the Virtuoso performance or Shadowbard spells to have 2 performances going at once you won’t be able to stack it with dirge, but you can stack it with blistering or hideous.
There is a lot of freedom in build. I kinda already discussed alternative spell selections but this character really isn’t reliant on feats and I couldn’t think of any that would further improve what we’re trying to do. Skill Focus: Perform: Comedy could be reasonable, Great Fortitude could help with our weak save, Combat Casting could help you when threatened… all generic stuff.
Levels 1-3 will be fairly boring. We’ll pretty much only be able to apply our -1 and miss with crossbow shots most of the time. It may be worth trying to demoralize in combat to cause -2 instead of -1 but it may not matter either.
Levels 4-8 will bring us plenty of offensive options but I couldn’t figure out anything exciting for defensives- you should probably take vanish, invis, or something since bard’s don’t get mirror image.
Level 9+ brings us an ok defensive but we’re still not in a great position. It also represents a period where we’re starting to fall behind in spell DC’s. It’s not like you would ever not be using your Dirge but its going to be really crucial for getting your spells to affect foes.
Roleplay
Normally I try to write in a good reason to not be too disruptive or, at least, to limit your disruptiveness to specific narrow opportunities. This character, however, is supposed to be disruptive, snarky, and ridiculous but you’ve got to balance that fun with bringing home the Krown because only he who has the best tales to tell will take it. Granted… you’re going to lie and blow your stories way out of proportion but the bigger the foundation of truth- the more bull it can hold up. Therefore you do, indeed, have a vested interest in questing and bringing big dramatic plots to a resolution and you know better than to jeopardize that for the sake of self-entertaining.
One of your core motivations is, simply put, to be liked; not universally liked, but liked by your peers and those you value. It is pretty immature but your jokes are really just means of elevating your social status by attacking other’s social status. Some people are going to have to hate you but that’s acceptable so long as you can impress those who YOU like. You should pester your party members, innocuously, by challenging them to tests of skill and using your Mock Incompetence (skill debuff) to give yourself an edge; all to reinforce the notion that you’re valuable because you’re better than them. Do the same with town NPC’s and maybe consider wagering significant sums of gold on it too- work up the hustle with a few losses then quintuple the ante and secure the win with Steal the Show. Aside from the skill debuff, most of your debuff performances are quite threatening so avoid using those for roleplay unless you are prepared for permanent hostility afterward.
Whenever you roll for knowledge, make sure to repeat whatever the DM gives you with some flair and flavor- make up a better story but with all the truth included. If you get some solo spotlight time in roleplay you should take time to tell the party how it went, adding lots of extra false details to make yourself look cooler or just elicit some laughs. Attempt to seduce the barmaidens- you ought to take a penalty for racial prejudice vs goblins, ought to fail, and that will be funny but funnier, still, will be the time you succeed. Even though you are motivated to succeed as a character, you should be happy when your failures also bring laughs to the table. Take your role as comic relief very seriously, if that makes sense…