THE GOBWOOD

Goblin, Fantasy, and RPG Blog

              This is a character i’ve hinted at with my kids and they’ve recently asked about so I had to create her. The background is written in short story form for the offspring; one of whom just lost both front teeth with more to follow soon; and another of whom had concerns about her hair; semicolon for impact. It has been… around a year since my last post and several months building this one. Lamentations and explanations, however, are not only cliché for a blog but also ungoblin a.f. so… This is your classic “magical hair girl” but built on the ectoplasmatist spiritualist archetype because it looked really cool. I give you; “Shallotte the hair witch!”

Character

Shallotte is a chill-goth girl-goblin with bad teeth and great hair. Magical hair, in fact, possessed by the phantom of an ancient dwarven princess who shares space in the goblin’s mind. Despite racial enmity, the two found something powerful and deep to bond over and now travel as one shared open mind to seek adventure, joy, and people who don’t suck. Life can be lame but when you find someone who is willing to understand you and let you understand them, its way better. Shallotte wants to do that for others now, and maybe have a lot of fun too, and just possibly get a tiny little bit of revenge on absolute douchebags.

 

The phantom’s power is one of curious and questionable origin, not every princess with image issues who dies in a cave gets powers… but Shallotte is ok with it and it serves her adventures well. In a party that welcomes her she’ll be very protective, supportive, platonically clingy, and will use her magical hair to stab a mf who threatens her peeps, strangle them just a bit, twist their limbs until just a couple of bones break, and maybe gouge their eyes out a little but it’s not serious or anything… she won’t even stop smiling, its just what happens to jerks.

 

Think of inspiration from Froppy of MHA, Sense from Freiren, and Sucy from little witch academia (maybe? I haven’t actually seen it), but as a goblin with just a few pointy teeth and the hair is always big like a Toxapex pokemon on her head.

Goblins love to bite, and chew, and gnaw on things. Many little goblins only escape the cage their parents put them in by toothing their way through the woven sticks. Shallotte was no different, when she found something fun it went straight into her mouth- bite bite bite. And her teeth were big, SO big! Those chompers were her pride and joy and everygobby was amazed by how wide and white her teeth were. But one day she got sick… and the teeth got loose and wobbly… and soon they started to fall out. She did get better, just in time to save some of her teeth, but goblin teeth don’t grow back. She missed her teeth, and the other goblins poked fun at her, they called her gappy and gummy and sister hisster… Goblins are always going to be mean to somebody and it was easy for them to be mean to Shallotte, but it was NOT easy to be Shallotte. She cried and she ran and she hid in a cave behind a waterfall, a cave that goblins DON’T go inside! … for a good reason… the cave was haunted!

 

Long Long loooong ago… there was a dwarf girl with long thick beautiful hair. Her hair was so thick she could put it in three separate braids each as thick as another’s whole head of hair. Her hair grew so fast and grew so long that she could use it to play jump rope, with three other girls at once! Her hair was smooth and shiny and flowed like water and everyone was amazed. One day the King under the hills came to see her and the king’s son, the prince of dwarves, fell in love at first sight- but he only loved her hair because he was foolish and shallow. He asked her to marry because he wanted to show her hair to all his friends and so she went to the king’s fortress to prepare for the wedding. But then she got sick… and her hair got thin and crispy… and soon it started to fall out. She did get better, just in time to save some of her hair, but it didn’t grow back.

 

The shallow prince was disgusted, he called her  names and screamed and fought because he was going to have to marry her still… everyone was cruel to her now calling her baldie bride and knotty queen and the royal rughead. She cried and she ran and she hid in a cave behind a waterfall, a cave that dwarves DON’T go inside! … for a good reason… the rocks were slippery. She fell and was hurt.. bad. She was angry and sad and bitter that she ended up here. She missed her hair, she missed being amazing, she just wanted what she had before. She didn’t make it… but her spirit stayed and it drew upon old magics from deep below… magics that let her spirit be beautiful and hairy again. She would look at herself in the reflection of the water and remember what it was like to be alive and hairy. There her spirit stayed for a very long time with thick long amazing hair scaring away any creatures, like goblins, who might bumble into her cave until…

 

One night a goblin girl came into the cave. A crying goblin, a sad goblin, an angry goblin who missed her teeth and just wanted what she had before. The goblin slipped and fell and… almost got hurt but the spirit caught the goblin with her hair. The spirit felt the same as Shallotte, they both had something wonderful and lost it. They talked and shared and cried and held each other, they understood each other, because they both knew what it was like. Shallotte didn’t want to leave the spirit, and the spirit couldn’t leave the cave but she did have an idea! The spirit was able to enter Shallote’s mind! It could stay with her and even give her powers- it couldn’t restore her teeth but it could give her hair, Thick, Long, Amazing hair! Silvery white hair of ancient magic from deep below! Together the two left the cave, and they both felt better. Each had let go of what they lost… and held on to something new instead- each other.

Build

Feats, Choices, and Features

1-          Knacks, Phantom Hair Lash, Weapon Finesse (EITR), Piranha Strike (EITR), Weapon Focus: Hair, Lv1 Spells

2-          Prehensile Hair Lashes, Lash +1

3-          Spiritual Combat (spell combat + spellstrike w/lashes), Phantom’s Grace

4-          Lash Reach 10ft, Ectoplasmic Armor +4, Lv2 Spells

5-          Combat Reflexes

6-          Lash +2

7-          Deft Maneuvers, Lv3 Spells

8-          Ghost Touch Lash, 15ft Lash

9-          Grasping Lash

10-        Lash +3, Lv4 Spells

11-        Constricting Lash

12-        Emo Focus + SpiritBound Blade effect, Ectoplasmic Armor +6 w/ Ghost Touch

13-        Greater Trip/Reposition, Lv5 Spells

14-        Lash +4

15-        Greater Combat Maneuver

16-        2nd Emo Focus + Spiritbound Blade effect, Lv6 Spells

17+        Greater Combat Maneuver or whatever

Exposition

Combos and Strats

Roleplay

     Both Shallotte and the princess are supreme edgeladies but with a good sense of humor; as if that edgy teenager you used to cringe at finally got over their self and is genuinely cool now but still looks the same. To roleplay this you should do spooky stuff like use decollate just to freak people out. Shallotte and the Princess both inspired amazement with their glorious physical features but, since those features have been twisted that joy of amazement has also been twisted into more of a self-amusement. Shallotte should enjoy shocking and surprising onlookers with both her appearance and antics. She may be inclined to faux a noose with her phantom lashes and make mockery of a dying face, seeing a shopkeeper reel back in horror would fill her with glee. A simple tickle with a phantom lash is much less garish but could still send a chill down someone’s spine.

 

     Shallotte is rather elegant name, for a goblin, but keep in mind that its not her given name, its something she and her phantom came up with perhaps as a mashup or just a new beginning. Their given names don’t matter, they say, they’ve kinda forgotten them due to goblin silliness or centuries of being undead. She prefers to wear the princess’s ancient tattered wedding gown which she died in. Its long flowy lace will hang below Shallotte as she lifts herself off the ground by the hair and the fit is quite loose hanging just off her shoulder and draping over her hands; equal parts cozy and spooky. The spooky stuff is for fun, but don’t neglect the cozy stuff either; this is how we’ll endear ourselves to the party. The hair makes for a great sleeping bag, pillow, or snuggle buddy. Your party members should occasionally wake in a warm hairy blanket, use your prehensile lashes to hand your peers their beers right off the tavern wench’s serving tray, and get super touchy-feely whenever you can with the hair; but you don’t like actual physical contact body to body. Use your sensory lash to look over the stuffy wizard’s shoulder as he spellcraft’s that scroll- and maybe let a stray hair go up his nose for a giggle. Give your gruff barbarian a big ole hairy gg-spank before heads to the weapon shop or even go along to tell him which armors are too lame, lay out a bed of hair for your ranger/druid’s animal companion or give the cavalier’s mount a mock toupè with the tips of your lashes.

 

     You want to roleplay a strong attachment to your peers, clingy but not annoying unhealthy attachment. Well.. maybe just a little bit of unhealthy attachment. in response to disrespect or, especially, hostility toward your party members you should escalate that same disrespect or hostility. In combat shifting your focus toward supporting whoever is getting harried is a great way to earn your peers appreciation- everyone likes some backup; if your fighter gets crit then use your strongest moves on the offending foe until it goes down (unless that’s unwise). You are trying to earn your peers acceptance and, once you get it, double down on the things that won it. On the flip side, perhaps the darker side, refer to the character section from the beginning. When being protective of your friends you should go over the top- violence and cruelty even in the extreme are right on theme for any NPC that did your buddies dirty.